Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. Review Part 6

Flickering from the WebWay (A complex spider like system of teleporters scattered across the galaxy) the Eldar arrive.

A complex race of elf like creatures, very little is known about the eldar.

What we do know is this, they have very advanced technology, they are cunning and deceptive, they despise the Necrons and hold them as  their arch-enemies and...

They are dying out.

Unfortunaly for the Eldar, their numbers continue to dwindle before much more vast forces, because of this they must rely on stealth and 'hit and run' tactics to achive their goals. Assaulting the enemy in a flurry of poetic violence, and then slipping back into the webway before they can retaliate.

Their reasons of coming to Kronus are not certain, but one could speculate that they arrived to halt the march of the dark crusades and put the Necrons back in their tombs, and this time... for good.

Summer Honey Massage Bar Review.

This honey scented massage bar smells good enough to eat, when massaged into the skin it moisturises beautifully. Melting at body temprature it would make a perfect addition to anyones pampering supplies.

If you think this would be a worthy addition to your bathroom, you can pick up the Summer Honey Massage Bar here.

Me Time Product Review.

Hey everybody, now that everything is up and running I thought I'd give you an idea of what we sell and provide, and maybe give you some gift ideas too.

The
For Him Giftbox: 
Now something everyone can be in agreement with, getting a gift for a guy can vary from quite difficult, to down right impossible. From the father who "Doesn't want anything" to the guy who works in the office you don't know much about, this should be ideal for any occasion

Well as we know Christmas is nearly upon us, so why not get a head start with the...

Christmas Lush  Festive Box:
 Filled with holiday cheer and merriment, and the perfect thing to relax with after a busy day of spreading good will and getting that dreaded Christmas shopping done.

Now for those who like to walk on the darker side of life, I bring to you the...

MeTime Goth Box:
Filled with gleefully dark items, and a beautifully warped selection of treats, the Goth box will not disappoint those Beautiful People of a darkened nature.

Not into the idea of a gift box? Not enough room in the bathroom or just want a little something for yourself?
Take a look at our smaller items, for when less... is more.


Bath Rocks:
For when bathbombs are simply too bulky why not take the bath rocks, they will pamper just as well and are easier to take on holiday too.

And last but not least our...

Handmade Soaps:

Simplicity at its finest, more fragrances than you could ever wish for.

Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. Review Part 5

Now we come to the back-bone of the Imperium of Man, sure the Space Marines are tough and some of the best warriors in the galaxy, but they are few in number, and cannot answer to every battle cry called out by aliens and heretics.

For this we need the hammer of the Emperor, the Imperial Guard.

Now where can I start with the Imperial guard, well to quote a famous Let's Player (JosefVStalin) "Heres a laser rifle, now go fight the untold horrors of the universe." and to be honest this sums it up completely, this people are usually conscripts sent to fight beings and aliens no man should ever have to face.

So what do they have on their side? Numbers, and some of the finest tanks and artillery ever seen on any battlefield. The Imperial Guard believe that any problem can be solved by either sending wave after wave of expendable men at it, or simply shelling it into oblivion.

These two tactics are tried usually before any kind of particular strategy is taken.
Gameplay wise, these guys have a particularly strategic feel to them, the troops tend to be rather fragile (but cheap) and they also have the ability to hold up in bunkers to make a better defensive position.

I salute you soldiers of the imperium, may fight for the Emperor and may you not be mown down by the enemy too quickly. (many more where they came from.)

Also if you'd like to check out JosefVStalins channel, he has a completed Lets Play of Dark Crusade, playing as our expendable friends, the Imperial Guard.

Well thats five of seven factions down, stay tuned for a review of some of our Me Time Products, before returning to the Dark Crusade.

Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. Review Part 4

Ok so when it comes to utter and total destruction, you thought the brutish orks were the worst? No?
Maybe the ruinous powers of chaos? No?
Well then may I introduce you to yet another faction of Dawn of War:Dark Crusade, a faction so terrible... it got the spotlight in the trailer. I give to you the Necrons.

I'll be back.

I know what your thinking... "That looks like the governor of California!" Well let me tell you something, the terminators have nothing on these guys.
Put simply the Necrons have one all powerful rule, living is wrong. If it isn't dead make it dead, and if you can, convert it.
The Necrons didn't arrive on Kronus oh no, they were there for thousands upon thousands of years before the war started, before mankind even stood upright, sleeping peacefully in their robotic tombs underneath the ground until their gods awoken them again, to purge the disease that infested the universe, the disease of life.


The way the Necrons play out in Dark Crusade is much unlike the other factions, for example other factions must gather both requisition AND power to build new units, however Necrons only require power, with requisition only serving as an added bonus.
Also the Necrons are incredibly powerful, yet also very slow. If a Necron play is foolish, their opponent may easily skirt around their forces and head to their base, if they are wise however, using their massed firepower they can bring down even the deadliest of foe.

Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. Review Part 3

Chaos Space Marines: Well we have just met the space marines and why they are here, but what exactly are their arch rivals the chaos marines doing? Well upon leaving the warp (a curropted rift in time and space) the space marines have forsaken their God Emperor and want to capture Kronus for the Blood God Khorne, upon capturing the planet they shall use it as a launch point for their dark crusade upon the rest of the galaxy.

So what makes them diffrent, and not just satanic space marines? Well for one, they rely much more on close combat than their cousins, they have units such as Khorne Beserkers who will leap into combat shouting battle crys of the blood god, and swining axes at anything that moves. They are also able to call upon demons of the warp to aid them in battle, foul terrors that used to be men and are now the imbodiment of pain join them in the bloodshed.

A frightful adversary, and a worthy addition to the warfare.

Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. Review Part 2

Orks: The orks are my personal favorite, they dont have hyper advanced power armour, they dont have super sonic plazma weaponry, and their tanks are ramshakle at best... but what they do have is the right attitude and numbers... numbers, numbers, numbers.

The ork mindset goes something like this "If a furst ya dont sucseed... get more boyz!" with the orks bigger is allways better. Ork culture also only revolves around violence, to them fighting isnt the means to an end... its the end itself. Fighting for any other reason other than 'just because' is unlikely.

The orks are on the planet Kronus only for the promise of war and lots of it, and due to bringing looted weapons and armour, ramshackle tanks and buildings, and lots and lots of very angry 8ft green killing machines... they are more than a match for the other factions. Also a famous quote "Orkz allways win! If we die, we die in battle so it dont count! And if we run away we can come back for a nuvver go see!?"